You don’t love me and guilt trips
Yesterday, I had to skip my lunchtime workout in order to finish up some work for a final exam. I also skipped my morning freelancing in order to get everything done in time.
I’ve been dealing with some lower back pain lately that is purely induced by my increased hours in front of a computer and my decreased mobility work (AKA yoga) and stretching. Therefore, the 45 minutes I spend at the gym on my lunch hour is extremely important to me (except when I’m feeling like a lazy butt).
This morning, I was chatting with my husband, who is now a stay at home dad, and he mentioned making the 50 trek into the city to have lunch with me and go to Target in search of one of those baby gate play pens. Ah, the guilt, the agony I put on myself. My back hurts…I want to workout…but he wants my time too.
Here’s a transcript of the exchange:
Tonya: I don’t want to seem like I wouldn’t like have lunch with you, but I didn’t get to workout yesterday because I had to do homework on my lunch hour, and my back is telling me I need to workout. It’s twitching.
Bill: you don’t love me wahhhhh
I know he was completely joking, but I felt the guilt before he even teased me. This is what we women put on ourselves. We don’t need to give up all our plans because someone else wants our time. I tell myself this over and over. I really struggle with this. I’m proud that I squashed the guilt bug and stuck up for my needs today. Hopefully it will make it easier the next time.
